╰┈➤ you have recieved mail !
open?
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Mia,
im feeling sm things its so crazy
im glad i was able to be there at that low point of your life and im also glad we both clicked that link for that silly little video. i dont know what possessed me to click it but im so fucking glad i did.the fact you find my bullshit amusing makes me happy. idk if ive really talked about it but i dont talk to people about the things i like because i feel they wont care enough, even with people with like aariyah who i talk to every day, and know that she'd listen if i tried.however, you gave off this energy and comfort and it was so easy for me to be able to talk to you about literally anything.im also glad you also are comfortable with talking to me about your interests because it means you think of me the same way i think of you. it means im someone you can come too for anything whether it be positive or negativeyou also make my small accomplishments feel that much greater. whether it be something as small as me just cleaning my room or something bigger like passing tests, you say you're proud and it gives me the motivation to keep doing those things.im lucky to have found someone who lets me talk about my feelings. ill be honest, these past months have been like someone else’s life. like i fell into someone else’s body and this is their life and i haven't earned any of it.and before you scold me, i know my thoughts are not very logical. most of the time, im just really fucking grateful, you know?so thank you for listening to my rants, dealing with my hyper fixations, and allowing me to make all the jokes and say all the things im too scared to say to other people.
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you said you're proud of me, but im proud of YOU.you care so much about so many things- grades, relationships, and so much more. you put so much effort into those things and even when something goes wrong you pick yourself back up and keep going. you're smart, introspective, and constantly working on yourself, and im so proud that when you make mistakes you still keep trying harder. sometimes you're doing better and sometimes not so much, but you're always moving forward. little by little. its far from a walk in the park, but you're trying, and you're doing so well; so well that i can’t even begin to explain how proud of you i am.you also care about your friends and it really shows. you worry for them so much when things happen to them and when that thing with abby in how you wanted to appeal to both sides of that situation it shows how much you care for all of them. its something i dont see super often and that makes it so much more impactful on me bc of that. it makes me that you would care about me the way you do with themyou're more reserved and hard to figure out fully; but you're also kind, and gentle, with a big, fragile heart that you hold in your palms; that you offer to those close to you, trusting them to treat it tenderly and im glad you trust me to do exactly that because I will keep it safe in my pocket.
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its been about a year since ive really liked you and i regret none of it. a lot of people have told me to give up because it was long distance and that you might even lose feelings, but i brushed it off and kept going because i was willing to wait. deadass ive told people that i was willing to wait a long ass time because i genuinely felt you were that important to me. it may be hard because of the 1.3k miles between us but im so much more than willing to put in the effort.
so yes, i will gladly (officially) fall in love in octoberwith you <3
—————— • ・❥・disclaimer !!!
ur probably not gonna get rid of me easily. unless you tell me you don’t want me anymore- and really not want me, not out of some misguided guilt or some illogical reason.
hoping for us to last a long time is realistically unrealistic (el oh el) but i like to think that this can go on for a long time. maybe its far fetched and maybe it seems almost childish, but im willing to work for it and like dawg let me dream ;;
this next part makes me a little embarrassed bc its very silly but im gonna go with it because yoloI decided to put my creative brain back to use and wrote a lil smth smth for u AAAa im a little embarrassed—————— • ・❥・i could say that you remind me of all things delight and all that could make a flower itself blossom— however, i feel as if it isn’t enough to describe someone such as you.yes, you remind me of the sun who so gracefully assists flowers in feeding. everyone loves the sun,but i love the moon, and i believe it also describes someone like you.i am always thinking of the moon rising. the way you look away from the sunset only to look back and see the moon rising up from the horizon.it reminds me how when I wasn't looking, you found me, and how when I turned away, you stayed.you remind me of a rainy night– the peacefulness– and the rain after it stops.it is the feeling of floating peacefully on water and how it carries and caresses your body gently.it is how the ocean took its time to rain down on the buds and help them blossom into the greater version of themselves. the act of it is heavenly; loving, and that is what i truly think of you.☾